she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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