And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
