For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
