Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
