He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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