____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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