yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
