is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
