planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
