He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
