Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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