Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sarcasm needs its own font
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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