just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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