please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
