my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
