Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This is the high leading the old right now
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
