I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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