i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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