We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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