i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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