She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
