there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
