I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Vodka?
Forever.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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