Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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