apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
