This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
