I love black thongs
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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