but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
