google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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