Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
