I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
