And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
