Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
