ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
