I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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