she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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