just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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