I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
