erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
