He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Actions speak louder than pants.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
