im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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