My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
