No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
