someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
