Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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