I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
