Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
