dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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