Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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