he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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